The Celebrity Baby Bump Obsession

Even though I don’t want to come across as a curmudgeon (but let’s face it, I kind of AM a curmudgeon), I still believe that every human being has the God-given right to complain, bitch and vent about stuff.

I just happen to do it more than others.

So, in a blog segment I’m calling #ROTD — a hashtag I just made up for ‘Rant of the Day,’ I’m going to tell you what currently grinds my gears.  Gets my goat.  Chaps my ass.  (HAHA, okay okay, sorry…I’ll stop).

Basically, Imma tell you what’s been pissing me off.

First, let me start by saying I HATE the term “baby bump.”  Hate it.  I’ve had 8437526 girlfriends who have been pregnant in the last few years, and have *never* used this term with them or about them.  I think it’s stupid, overused and just annoying.  There, I said, it.  Sorry not sorry.

That said, there’s an obsession when it comes to celebrities and their growing fetuses that is just completely out of control.  Go on any celebrity website right now and you’re guaranteed to see a woman either accused of being pregnant when they very well may not be (I see you Bey), someone who is probably pregnant but hasn’t actually confirmed it yet (my boyfriend Justin Timberlake’s wife, Jessica Biel) or a woman who IS in fact openly pregnant and we’re just stalking her every move and bodily change (Kate Middleton).   How fun for them!

And guess what?  I love celebrities — but I DON’T. CARE. ABOUT. THIS.  Not even a little.  Guess what?  When you have a human person growing inside you, your stomach gets bigger.

And I just don’t find it that interesting.

The reason I’m writing about this today is because any time I’ve perused the internet this week, I was immediately inundated with THIS:

Good Lord.  Make it stop.

This leads me to my next point.  It’s not even just the obsession with ‘the bumps’ themselves; it’s the matter in which they are referred.  I remember seeing this photo/headline of Blake Lively (hottest pregnant woman alive) a few months ago, and it enraged me.

Sigh.  Okay.  News outlets:  STOP referring to a woman’s pregnant belly as a completely separate entity from the rest of her body.  Oh, Blake “TOOK” her baby bump shopping?  It’s not her pet chihuahua; stop acting like she had the option to leave it at home.

Look, I know the ‘bump obsession’ and ‘Bump Watch’ articles aren’t going anywhere.  SOMEONE out there is reading this crap and cares about a famous woman and her stomach that might have a baby in it (or might have a Chipotle burrito in it).

But, that someone ain’t me.

Rant of the Day: The Celebrity Baby Bump Obsession
By allison.arnone

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